So Many Republican Hypocrites, So Little Time

July 11, 2008 | SEND TO A FRIEND | GET EARLY NOTICE OF THE HOTW

The Eulogizers of Jesse Helms

Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

Jesse Helms isn't the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week. He was called to that great smoking room in the sky, sponsored by the tobacco companies that he so dearly loved.

No, the D.C. insiders and corporate media shills who have praised Helms upon his death are the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrites of the Week.

Helms was a no-holds barred bigot, rabid UN hater, mean-spirited wizened and bilious right-wing senator, who is as about as deserving of gilded eulogies as Idi Amin.

We love the standard cliché of "respecting" Helms for "always knowing where he stood." If that's the case, we guess you could "respect" Hitler.

We once saw Helms in a Senate cafeteria, when you could still smoke there, and he was this nasty looking, hunched over creep who was puffing away. I kept expecting him to start ranting that there was a black UN helicopter hovering over his head.

I guess we are supposed to "honor" Helms in the way that we are supposed to give due to the "noble" lifestyle of the "Old Confederacy." But we never quite figured out how you can claim that you are an American patriot while waving a rebel flag. And that's what Helms did most of his life, when he wasn't sending out despicable code words to raise fears about blacks in America.

Let the eulogizers of Jesse Helms abandon their integrity and moral decency by bestowing honor upon a man who had none. This was a guy who compared abortion to the Holocaust, thought gays were evil, believed secularism was the work of the devil, and the end of segregation was an affront to the South.

So to those D.C. insiders and corporate media types who couldn't resist praising a man of such destructive and spiteful capacity, we honor you as the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

Now go choke on a cigarette. Jesse would have liked that.

Remember our motto: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

Catch up with you soon.